One of the hardest parts of dating is learning to generate attraction. Many women may be attracted towards you but may not feel attraction for you. Being attracted towards someone else is a spur of the moment reaction. Generating attraction can only be done through personality. Women don't date men just because they are good-looking - if that is the case the relationship won't last long. Attraction is an emotion that you cause someone else to feel towards you. Being attracted towards someone is mainly based on their physical appearance. I am sure you have seen it before, hot-looking girl with an average-looking guy.
Recent surveys have shown that when asked, "What do you like most about your girlfriend?" men would either say "her legs", "her ass", "her breasts" but when women were asked the exact same question about their boyfriends they would respond with "his personality."
Maybe when you approach a girl in club or mall, she may not feel initially attracted towards you but that doesn't mean it will stay like that. By using your personality you can create the more powerful influence - attraction.
Most men get all nervous when making initial contact with a girl, they have so many different thoughts running through their head that they simply forget what to say. I know, I used to be the same myself. Remember, whatever self persona, good or bad, you hold of yourself, it doesn't matter.
With most women it really is personality that counts (unless she is Anna Nicole Smith and decides to marry a dying 70 year-old man for love, ah hem, I'm sure). When approaching a girl give yourself 3 minutes, don't chicken out and walk off before then, no matter how bad it seems to be going. When you approach a girl you have to remember that she was not expecting that to happen. She isn't psychic and she doesn't know that in 2 minutes she has to stop talking to her friends or whatever it is she is doing because some guy is going to come over and speak to her.
On a time scale, let's say, 30 seconds before she begins to feel a bit at ease. Another 30 seconds before she readjusts from what she was previously doing, before listening to what you have to say. The next minute before she forgets what she was previously doing, dropping her barrier and deciding whether she is interested in you. The minute after that whether you have said enough to her for her to consider going out on date with you or considering talking to you further. It really does take over 60 seconds before you can get a girl to start properly speaking to you.
After the initial 60 seconds it is a lot easier, she is much more likely to get involved in the conversation and respond to comments you make. That's what dating is about: getting girls to respond positively to what you are saying.
What are the best things to say in those 3 minutes? All the best in-depth stuff is in my new book but I will give you a good idea of the process you need to follow.
1) - Never allow a long dead silence. Even if you do not have the slightest idea of what to say, just say or do something. Anything!
2) - Always ask or make open ended comments or questions. Say something that has to create a reaction. Statements are a no. Example: "Nice place in here." "Yeah, it is quite nice." - that is a statement.
Open ended questions or comments 90% of the time begin with the words "What?", "When?", "How?", "Why?" and "Where?". By doing this you will cause her to respond and will be creating that reaction. The more you can get her to answer a question and the more she thinks you are interested in what she is trying to say the more chance you have of generating the attraction.
Women love the fact that they are being heard. "Someone is listening to what I have to say." But that is the same for everyone.
The best way to do this is through eye contact, even allow yourself a small split-second glimpse over her and then straight back to maintaining eye contact. Try not to look like an axe murder but have more of a sexy kind of eye contact. If your unsure of what I mean then, when you are in a bad mood or angry at something, look in the mirror and see your own eyes. You will notice an angry contact between you and the mirror - use the opposite eye contact of angry.
Learn to use your own voice to more effect. Speak slowly, surely and more deeply. All women love a very slow, deep speaking voice. Women find this to be very sexy and very attractive.
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